Sunday, November 23, 2008
And this chick expects to make it out of this one clean?
(Phoenix, AZ)
I apologize at how brief this post is, but do not fret. There is a lot to be said about this circumstance.
Reply to: pers-930422211@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-11-22, 7:43PM MST
And even though it is short, simple and to the point; the point meets my criteria. This person has just bought herself a one way ticket to STDville. It's obvious that this little hayday of blowing every guy in sight will not be the last event of her night. If she gets what she wants, (and oh boy, she will) then every guy she just sucked off will line up to run the train on her until her vagina is begging to recover from the abuse. By that time, it will be too late because the anus will be next. I will spare the details of this encounter that cannot possibly have a happy ending.
If she's lucky, that train to STDville will come to a slow and steady stop if it's a bacterial infection. Lucky in the meaning that it will be curable. The infection will be cured, and the train will start up again but to a different destination. Hopefully it will be safe sex city.
However, should the train continue to its destination, more than likely the operator will be full steam ahead. By full steam ahead, I mean that this situation is beyond recovery. She has passed the STDville junction, and is well on her way to a deathbed.
Based on this post, she does not have the morals or the smarts to stick with one guy. This one night of naive bliss might not teach any lessons. It is her own judgement call to do this, so why would she make the right one to stop having sex once she has an incurable disease? Hell, the guy that gave this burden to her did not have the dignity to stop himself or let her know, so why should she?
And so the train rolls on. Sharing its contents along the way with unfortunate passerbies. I will be on the lookout for people more slutty than this one. I am not going to get my hopes up too high, sicne this post sets the bar pretty high.
-Swift
I apologize at how brief this post is, but do not fret. There is a lot to be said about this circumstance.
Wheres the Frat guys? w4mmmmmmmmm - w4m - 20 (phx)
Reply to: pers-930422211@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-11-22, 7:43PM MST
I just want to go down a line and suck off every frat guy in the group. Is there any group of guys that are looking for this? I want to be a little slut for 1 night
PostingID: 930422211- Location: phx
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
And even though it is short, simple and to the point; the point meets my criteria. This person has just bought herself a one way ticket to STDville. It's obvious that this little hayday of blowing every guy in sight will not be the last event of her night. If she gets what she wants, (and oh boy, she will) then every guy she just sucked off will line up to run the train on her until her vagina is begging to recover from the abuse. By that time, it will be too late because the anus will be next. I will spare the details of this encounter that cannot possibly have a happy ending.
If she's lucky, that train to STDville will come to a slow and steady stop if it's a bacterial infection. Lucky in the meaning that it will be curable. The infection will be cured, and the train will start up again but to a different destination. Hopefully it will be safe sex city.
However, should the train continue to its destination, more than likely the operator will be full steam ahead. By full steam ahead, I mean that this situation is beyond recovery. She has passed the STDville junction, and is well on her way to a deathbed.
Based on this post, she does not have the morals or the smarts to stick with one guy. This one night of naive bliss might not teach any lessons. It is her own judgement call to do this, so why would she make the right one to stop having sex once she has an incurable disease? Hell, the guy that gave this burden to her did not have the dignity to stop himself or let her know, so why should she?
And so the train rolls on. Sharing its contents along the way with unfortunate passerbies. I will be on the lookout for people more slutty than this one. I am not going to get my hopes up too high, sicne this post sets the bar pretty high.
-Swift
Saturday, November 1, 2008
I envy this man's way with words.
(San Diego, CA)
So I definitely have a man crush on this guy. He can dish out the hate like no other, as well as create an easy to read Craigslist rant and rave on the 'missed connections' section. These posts are few and far between, as I can totally relate to this guy about a different type of people. Plus, it's funny in the raw.
Reply to: pers-899973304@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-10-31, 2:13PM PDT
Now for my part, even though most of it has been done for me.
Sometimes, I find myself mad at people for undisclosed reasons. 99 percent of the time, it's their fault, too. The part that angers me is that these people either don't realize the cause of their self inflicted problems, or just ignore it all together and continue to live an ignorant lifestyle.
This man, (tall, as described) is identical to me in this respect. He doesn't know for sure that, "the bitch who’s boyfriend is a racecar driver that travels a lot" is cheating on her. Certainly, it is the blatantly obvious conclusion, but nothing is certain. Not standing to this woman's defense or anything, as I do agree with this anonymous man. She is retarded.
The second "harpy" is pretty annoying to me as well. I always loathe the people that make themselves up to be way more than they could possibly ever become. Luckily I do not meet these people often. Good thing, too. I would probably end up making these people hate me if I hung around them too much. It's their fault though, because eventually I'd be so fed up with the shit that they fed me I'd have to have some words. They would go something like this: 'You're a shell of a person with no depth or self-worth.' I'm confident to say that the author of this Craigslist post shares my viewpoint.
Although I do defend this poster in his situation, I wouldn't debate pulling the escape hatch. There are many other people on that 737. Good choice to not fall off the deep end there, champ. My history in air expeditions has been pleasant when it comes to nearby passengers. The last trip I took resulted in me and a cute blond making smalltalk about our trips, what we were doing with our lives at the time, etc. She was a year older than me. The best part worth mentioning over the other bits is that we both had thought of the Fight Club scene when taking off. The scene about how people make friends on the plane, only to never be seen again.
As for the last note of this blog, where would this guy be without alcohol? I know some good and bad stories of people and what they do at the airport with alcohol in their system, but what about this guy? Could he be a good case or a bad case? My bet is on the bad, but this time it turned out to be good. The lesser of evils prevailed, and a 737 liner was saved. Cheers.
-Swift
So I definitely have a man crush on this guy. He can dish out the hate like no other, as well as create an easy to read Craigslist rant and rave on the 'missed connections' section. These posts are few and far between, as I can totally relate to this guy about a different type of people. Plus, it's funny in the raw.
Southwest Flight Las Vegas to San Diego Tuesday evening - m4w (San Diego)
Reply to: pers-899973304@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-10-31, 2:13PM PDT
To the cackle of three witches sitting behind me. Thank you for making the last leg of my business trip the longest hour and 20 minutes of my fucking life. All I wanted was to relax and get home to sunny San Diego and my family after two long days in St. Louis where it happened to be colder than a witches tit. Things started out well for me. I got an emergency row window seat with plenty of legroom to stretch out my 6’1” frame. Then you three hags came bounding loudly down the aisle and sat right fucking behind me…Two middle-aged homely white bitches and your younger Asian underling who delusionally thinks she’s all that, ranting loudly about your real estate marketing report that’s going to kick everyone else’s ass. I saw your folder…you work for KB Homes. Knowing they would actually hire three dipshits like you reinforces my desire to NEVER buy a KB home just out of spite. You three subjected half the plane to 90 minutes of your inane bullshit conversations. Let me help you out with a couple of things that came up.
To the bitch who’s boyfriend is a racecar driver that travels a lot and doesn’t have a large capacity of love to give you. Newsflash honey, the reason he doesn’t have a lot of love to give is because there’s not much left after he’s done bangin’ all those other bitches while out on the road. I strongly suggest an STD check.
To the bitch that thinks she has it all because you drive a Mercedes and live in Del Mar. A 1989 Mercedes 190E and a one-bedroom apartment don’t count…Anything more than that is a result of your husband having a successful career that you somehow believe you earned through the once-a-month blowjob. However, if he is really successful then you wouldn’t be working an obvious mid-level job at K fuckin’ B Homes for what…$45K/yr? Listen up, your feeble attempt at public validation only reinforces your weak insecurities you pathetic hag.
I tried to bust out my IPOD and blithely drown you harpies out, but just as I pull it out of my computer bag the little rubber gasket on one earpiece pops off and bounces into the unknown nether regions of a 737, lost forever. Shit!!! I was then going to breakout my USA Today crossword puzzle that I was saving for the flight but was afraid if I did I’d end up stabbing you three blathering bimbos to death with my ballpoint pen. Then I’d NEVER get to see my family again. I peered through the seat crack. Not surprisingly you weren’t wearing your seatbelts as the rules obviously don’t apply to you. I spent the next 45 minutes debating my chances of survival should I yank the emergency door handle down and watch as the sudden decompression sucked you three vapid bitches out the door at 29,000 feet. Lucky for you three my Jack and Coke arrived just in time.
PostingID: 899973304To the bitch who’s boyfriend is a racecar driver that travels a lot and doesn’t have a large capacity of love to give you. Newsflash honey, the reason he doesn’t have a lot of love to give is because there’s not much left after he’s done bangin’ all those other bitches while out on the road. I strongly suggest an STD check.
To the bitch that thinks she has it all because you drive a Mercedes and live in Del Mar. A 1989 Mercedes 190E and a one-bedroom apartment don’t count…Anything more than that is a result of your husband having a successful career that you somehow believe you earned through the once-a-month blowjob. However, if he is really successful then you wouldn’t be working an obvious mid-level job at K fuckin’ B Homes for what…$45K/yr? Listen up, your feeble attempt at public validation only reinforces your weak insecurities you pathetic hag.
I tried to bust out my IPOD and blithely drown you harpies out, but just as I pull it out of my computer bag the little rubber gasket on one earpiece pops off and bounces into the unknown nether regions of a 737, lost forever. Shit!!! I was then going to breakout my USA Today crossword puzzle that I was saving for the flight but was afraid if I did I’d end up stabbing you three blathering bimbos to death with my ballpoint pen. Then I’d NEVER get to see my family again. I peered through the seat crack. Not surprisingly you weren’t wearing your seatbelts as the rules obviously don’t apply to you. I spent the next 45 minutes debating my chances of survival should I yank the emergency door handle down and watch as the sudden decompression sucked you three vapid bitches out the door at 29,000 feet. Lucky for you three my Jack and Coke arrived just in time.
- Location: San Diego
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Now for my part, even though most of it has been done for me.
Sometimes, I find myself mad at people for undisclosed reasons. 99 percent of the time, it's their fault, too. The part that angers me is that these people either don't realize the cause of their self inflicted problems, or just ignore it all together and continue to live an ignorant lifestyle.
This man, (tall, as described) is identical to me in this respect. He doesn't know for sure that, "the bitch who’s boyfriend is a racecar driver that travels a lot" is cheating on her. Certainly, it is the blatantly obvious conclusion, but nothing is certain. Not standing to this woman's defense or anything, as I do agree with this anonymous man. She is retarded.
The second "harpy" is pretty annoying to me as well. I always loathe the people that make themselves up to be way more than they could possibly ever become. Luckily I do not meet these people often. Good thing, too. I would probably end up making these people hate me if I hung around them too much. It's their fault though, because eventually I'd be so fed up with the shit that they fed me I'd have to have some words. They would go something like this: 'You're a shell of a person with no depth or self-worth.' I'm confident to say that the author of this Craigslist post shares my viewpoint.
Although I do defend this poster in his situation, I wouldn't debate pulling the escape hatch. There are many other people on that 737. Good choice to not fall off the deep end there, champ. My history in air expeditions has been pleasant when it comes to nearby passengers. The last trip I took resulted in me and a cute blond making smalltalk about our trips, what we were doing with our lives at the time, etc. She was a year older than me. The best part worth mentioning over the other bits is that we both had thought of the Fight Club scene when taking off. The scene about how people make friends on the plane, only to never be seen again.
As for the last note of this blog, where would this guy be without alcohol? I know some good and bad stories of people and what they do at the airport with alcohol in their system, but what about this guy? Could he be a good case or a bad case? My bet is on the bad, but this time it turned out to be good. The lesser of evils prevailed, and a 737 liner was saved. Cheers.
-Swift
Friday, October 31, 2008
May God take mercy on the poor soul that gets himself off to this crap.
(New York, NY)
But you really never do know. This one is pretty good. Surprisingly, it took some digging to really get an interesting one in the Big Apple. And so here it is...
Reply to: pers-901264626@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-10-31, 10:03PM EDT
There was one thing that I didn't object to in this 'casual encounters' post, and that was the length. She keeps it short and to the point, but far from sweet in my opinion. I'm sure that her sitting on anyone's face is far from sweet tasting. Although if the 'applicant' was a good cook, hopefully he could pamper his pallet with some killer Italian before it's bombarded by that ever hit or miss taste of cooch. As a close friend of mine says "Every vagina is like a snowflake." Taste applies to this too, as some are good and others are not so fresh. I'll leave it at that and move on.
I actually thought of a clever situation this crazy lady may get herself into. Since she wants a "male who is dominant during the day," she better not get herself dominated into doing all of the above and leaving nothing but the sitting on the face for nighttime. Hopefully some men will have the foresight for this, and would even knock out two birds with one stone by inviting her over to their place so that she can do something productive. Not to say that she isn't productive, as sitting on people's faces without mercy and "letting [them] orally please [her] for hours" is no easy task.
So this woman also better be able to give some mad oral. I don't think that guys like to please without being pleased, at least some of the time. Sure it can be a one way street here and there, but this is just crazy. Personally, if I were to eat out a girl for hours (minus the sitting on my face) my tongue would be clocked out after 20 minutes, tops.
And to think that she wants recommendations? This chick is off her rocker by this point. Unless the Craigslist 'casual encounters' section has a referrals section that I have completely missed, it would take a good amount of GHB to get a girl to write a recommendation about how good someone was at oral. And if it really was that good, then why would they write one sober? Girls are cynical and competetive. (For the most part.) What makes her think other girls will give up technique of mythic proportions?
So on a lighter note, this is just an application after all. Thank goodness real job applications aren't like this.
-Swift
But you really never do know. This one is pretty good. Surprisingly, it took some digging to really get an interesting one in the Big Apple. And so here it is...
SWF Rubenesque Mistress taking applications for house boy - w4m - 35
Reply to: pers-901264626@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-10-31, 10:03PM EDT
Taking applications for:
D & D Free Single Male who is dominant during the day but wants to be my House Boy by night.
Must be willing to do laundry, dusting, vacuuming, cleaning, and some cooking.
If you are a good house boy and do your job, you will be rewarded by me sitting on your face and letting you orally please me for hours.
In your application please include the following:
Age, height, weight, photo, list of qualifications, and a minimum 100 word essay on why I should select you.
Recommendations a plus!
PostingID: 901264626D & D Free Single Male who is dominant during the day but wants to be my House Boy by night.
Must be willing to do laundry, dusting, vacuuming, cleaning, and some cooking.
If you are a good house boy and do your job, you will be rewarded by me sitting on your face and letting you orally please me for hours.
In your application please include the following:
Age, height, weight, photo, list of qualifications, and a minimum 100 word essay on why I should select you.
Recommendations a plus!
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
There was one thing that I didn't object to in this 'casual encounters' post, and that was the length. She keeps it short and to the point, but far from sweet in my opinion. I'm sure that her sitting on anyone's face is far from sweet tasting. Although if the 'applicant' was a good cook, hopefully he could pamper his pallet with some killer Italian before it's bombarded by that ever hit or miss taste of cooch. As a close friend of mine says "Every vagina is like a snowflake." Taste applies to this too, as some are good and others are not so fresh. I'll leave it at that and move on.
I actually thought of a clever situation this crazy lady may get herself into. Since she wants a "male who is dominant during the day," she better not get herself dominated into doing all of the above and leaving nothing but the sitting on the face for nighttime. Hopefully some men will have the foresight for this, and would even knock out two birds with one stone by inviting her over to their place so that she can do something productive. Not to say that she isn't productive, as sitting on people's faces without mercy and "letting [them] orally please [her] for hours" is no easy task.
So this woman also better be able to give some mad oral. I don't think that guys like to please without being pleased, at least some of the time. Sure it can be a one way street here and there, but this is just crazy. Personally, if I were to eat out a girl for hours (minus the sitting on my face) my tongue would be clocked out after 20 minutes, tops.
And to think that she wants recommendations? This chick is off her rocker by this point. Unless the Craigslist 'casual encounters' section has a referrals section that I have completely missed, it would take a good amount of GHB to get a girl to write a recommendation about how good someone was at oral. And if it really was that good, then why would they write one sober? Girls are cynical and competetive. (For the most part.) What makes her think other girls will give up technique of mythic proportions?
So on a lighter note, this is just an application after all. Thank goodness real job applications aren't like this.
-Swift
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Is this guy serious?
(Washington, DC)
After reading this post, I was stunned. The ending is my favorite! This is a m4w post.
"Looking for something worth a damn... - 21 (Leesburg)"
Reply to: pers-893669650@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-10-25, 10:20PM EDT
____________________________________________________________________
These types of people that create these ads are hilarious. I always get a great laugh from these flip flop people. To put this in a pop culture lens, Katy Perry would classify this guy as 'Hot N Cold,' which is exactly what this guy is. He's one end of the spectrum, but has episodes with the opposite pole.
I honestly can't find one aspect of this person that displays stability in any perspective. Everything that he says is contradictory. For instance, "[He's] a simple man, that plays chess, listens to underground hiphop, enjoys cooking, holds true to his insane ideals, and philosophies the most mundane things," Are you kidding me? He calls himself simple, yet still holds himself to insane ideals while being philosophical? I'll opt to not talk about the mundane part. I'm sure the point has gotten across.
The second to last paragraph is almost convincing that this person does not have an inner conflict about everything. When he says "I grew up reading comic books, I found myself shaping my identity around my heroes, this sense of nobility, honor and justice that could only be found in fiction, became my blueprint to how I wanted to be as a man," I thought okay, this guy has some moral fiber that doesn't contradict anything.
But then I looked back just to double check, and became disappointed. His idols are comic book superheroes. Fair enough, they're popular with millions. However, this person probably fits more into the villain classification than the hero. As he said, his heroes are noble, honorable and justified. What he did not say was order, which is the backbone for any superhero. Superheros are based (for the most part) around order, not chaos. Villains are more chaos based, while being noble, honorable and justified in their own right. This probably goes without saying, but this person's personality is quite chaotic.
My favorite part is easily his last statement: "It's that simple!" Hopefully people could see through that last ditch of 'normality' this individual tries to convey.
-Swift
After reading this post, I was stunned. The ending is my favorite! This is a m4w post.
"Looking for something worth a damn... - 21 (Leesburg)"
Reply to: pers-893669650@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-10-25, 10:20PM EDT
Alright - I'm Hispanic, I got a beard, and I'm chubby!
Dont like sorry hun, hit back.
I'm a sweetheart jerk. I love being a gentleman, but I'll be a pompous prick all the while.
I'm a little under 5'8. And from jump I consider myself someone that deserves love, I aint gonna settle for anythin else. I dont expect to fall in love with you, if we just have a good time, with some shared feelings then its more then worth it. But I want to at least believe the possibility of love is there.
I'm a simple man, that plays chess, listens to underground hiphop, enjoys cooking, holds true to his insane ideals, and philosophies the most mundane things.
I swear Hiphop, Anime and Comic books was my genesis... Music is something that is part of my life, as much as anything else. I always want to have a beat or a rhythm to my life, and music offers this. I love watching Saturday morning cartoons with a bowl of captain crunch mixed with some lucky charms relaxin in bed with my little brothers. I grew up reading comic books, I found myself shaping my identity around my heroes, this sense of nobility, honor and justice that could only be found in fiction, became my blueprint to how I wanted to be as a man.
I'm looking for a girl worth a damn I really dont got a race or size, or anything, just gotta be cute - Its that simple!
PostingID: 893669650Dont like sorry hun, hit back.
I'm a sweetheart jerk. I love being a gentleman, but I'll be a pompous prick all the while.
I'm a little under 5'8. And from jump I consider myself someone that deserves love, I aint gonna settle for anythin else. I dont expect to fall in love with you, if we just have a good time, with some shared feelings then its more then worth it. But I want to at least believe the possibility of love is there.
I'm a simple man, that plays chess, listens to underground hiphop, enjoys cooking, holds true to his insane ideals, and philosophies the most mundane things.
I swear Hiphop, Anime and Comic books was my genesis... Music is something that is part of my life, as much as anything else. I always want to have a beat or a rhythm to my life, and music offers this. I love watching Saturday morning cartoons with a bowl of captain crunch mixed with some lucky charms relaxin in bed with my little brothers. I grew up reading comic books, I found myself shaping my identity around my heroes, this sense of nobility, honor and justice that could only be found in fiction, became my blueprint to how I wanted to be as a man.
I'm looking for a girl worth a damn I really dont got a race or size, or anything, just gotta be cute - Its that simple!
- Location: Leesburg
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
____________________________________________________________________
These types of people that create these ads are hilarious. I always get a great laugh from these flip flop people. To put this in a pop culture lens, Katy Perry would classify this guy as 'Hot N Cold,' which is exactly what this guy is. He's one end of the spectrum, but has episodes with the opposite pole.
I honestly can't find one aspect of this person that displays stability in any perspective. Everything that he says is contradictory. For instance, "[He's] a simple man, that plays chess, listens to underground hiphop, enjoys cooking, holds true to his insane ideals, and philosophies the most mundane things," Are you kidding me? He calls himself simple, yet still holds himself to insane ideals while being philosophical? I'll opt to not talk about the mundane part. I'm sure the point has gotten across.
The second to last paragraph is almost convincing that this person does not have an inner conflict about everything. When he says "I grew up reading comic books, I found myself shaping my identity around my heroes, this sense of nobility, honor and justice that could only be found in fiction, became my blueprint to how I wanted to be as a man," I thought okay, this guy has some moral fiber that doesn't contradict anything.
But then I looked back just to double check, and became disappointed. His idols are comic book superheroes. Fair enough, they're popular with millions. However, this person probably fits more into the villain classification than the hero. As he said, his heroes are noble, honorable and justified. What he did not say was order, which is the backbone for any superhero. Superheros are based (for the most part) around order, not chaos. Villains are more chaos based, while being noble, honorable and justified in their own right. This probably goes without saying, but this person's personality is quite chaotic.
My favorite part is easily his last statement: "It's that simple!" Hopefully people could see through that last ditch of 'normality' this individual tries to convey.
-Swift
All I have to say is, WoW!
(Los Angeles, CA)
So this one was found in the 'best-of-Craigslist' section. I needed an easy one since it's the first blog and I'm tired. So here it is...
Date: 2008-10-14, 11:01AM PDT
Do you like to PvP in the World of Warcraft? Do you want to have sex with a girl playing arena in the eighteen-hundreds bracket? Do you want to have sex with me WHILE I play arena? Continue reading..
I will be playing my druid.. she is in full Season 3 and some Season 4. I play with another female player on her warrior, but she is not going to physically join us.. she will be on vent or skype listening in, but mostly her purpose will be to keep the game going smoothly by letting me know what is happening so I don't have to pay much attention.
You must be ok with vaginal and anal penetration, as well as eating me out, and you must be able to finish on me twice within one hour.
But more importantly, you must be familiar with the game. You should be not only yelling things like, "Your pussy feels so good on my dick" but also pay some attention to my arena game(s). And be loud. Remember, I'll have my headset on to talk to my partner. "Root him!", "Cyclone so I can pull out and fuck your ass" and so on. You must be kinky, naughty, and very horny. I will be quizzing you, so if you are not sure about your stuff, please do not respond.
What you have to do/have in order for me to consider you:
- You must have at least one level 70 in equivalent gear, maybe we can chat about it.
- You cannot be overweight, but also not the muscle jock body type with a brain the size of a pea. Chubby is BEST!
- You must be able to spell.
- You must be at least 20 years old and no older than 29.
- At least 5'10".
- No blondies.
- Dark hair, dark eyes
- Prefer uncut, but you must be clean. Circumsized will be considered, but not preferred.
About me:
- I am 5'8"
- 150lbs
- Blue eyes and brown hair.
- I know a lot about video games.
- I want to fuck you while I play arena if you fulfill the above requirements. - I am very tight.. I have not had sex in about 8 months.
______________________________________
For the record, I am not a World of Warcraft (WoW) fan. I think the game is overrated. On the positive side I do not think the game is a complete waste of time. People have become so attached to the game that they actually buy the game's virtual currency (gold) with real money. Hopefully the people that do this will at least break even with the monthly subscription in this business.
My first reaction to this post was that this girl has a serious problem. But then I remembered that when I used to be infatuated with the First Person Shooter (FPS) game Counter-Strike, (CS) I would envy the people (always males) bragging about receiving oral sex while playing the game. Of course I would take their claim with a grain of salt, as nobody knows your a dog on the internet. The idea is what enticed me.
I think that her criteria is specific and quite reasonable. In the gaming world, females are few and far between, let alone ones that play the more in-depth games to such a level that this one claims to play at. She probably won't have trouble sifting through responses and finding someone to fit the bill.
So if this girl were to find someone and they agree to the above terms, how could this all happen in a chair? It would have to be in a chair, right? She would need both hands for the mouse and keyboard, so I would assume that the guy would be in the chair, facing the computer. She would be straddling him with her back to him, also facing the computer. She could do the work by going up and down, or he could move his hips while she stays at a constant height. Also, he "must be able to finish on [her] twice within one hour." This seems difficult in my book. If I were a hardcore WoW player and this were me to try and fuck this girl on her terms, I'd probably disappoint. Sorry ladies, but I don't think I can handle; having sex in a chair with your back turned, paying attention to the game, being loud, giving suggestions and try to have an orgasm all the while you're trying to play and get off at the same time. All within an hour's time frame.
I do however, think that the oral sex is perfectly doable. I'm sure no guy willing to go down on a girl would have a problem doing it while she plays video games.
-Swift
So this one was found in the 'best-of-Craigslist' section. I needed an easy one since it's the first blog and I'm tired. So here it is...
Girl seeking WoW player - w4m
Date: 2008-10-14, 11:01AM PDT
Do you like to PvP in the World of Warcraft? Do you want to have sex with a girl playing arena in the eighteen-hundreds bracket? Do you want to have sex with me WHILE I play arena? Continue reading..
I will be playing my druid.. she is in full Season 3 and some Season 4. I play with another female player on her warrior, but she is not going to physically join us.. she will be on vent or skype listening in, but mostly her purpose will be to keep the game going smoothly by letting me know what is happening so I don't have to pay much attention.
You must be ok with vaginal and anal penetration, as well as eating me out, and you must be able to finish on me twice within one hour.
But more importantly, you must be familiar with the game. You should be not only yelling things like, "Your pussy feels so good on my dick" but also pay some attention to my arena game(s). And be loud. Remember, I'll have my headset on to talk to my partner. "Root him!", "Cyclone so I can pull out and fuck your ass" and so on. You must be kinky, naughty, and very horny. I will be quizzing you, so if you are not sure about your stuff, please do not respond.
What you have to do/have in order for me to consider you:
- You must have at least one level 70 in equivalent gear, maybe we can chat about it.
- You cannot be overweight, but also not the muscle jock body type with a brain the size of a pea. Chubby is BEST!
- You must be able to spell.
- You must be at least 20 years old and no older than 29.
- At least 5'10".
- No blondies.
- Dark hair, dark eyes
- Prefer uncut, but you must be clean. Circumsized will be considered, but not preferred.
About me:
- I am 5'8"
- 150lbs
- Blue eyes and brown hair.
- I know a lot about video games.
- I want to fuck you while I play arena if you fulfill the above requirements. - I am very tight.. I have not had sex in about 8 months.
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For the record, I am not a World of Warcraft (WoW) fan. I think the game is overrated. On the positive side I do not think the game is a complete waste of time. People have become so attached to the game that they actually buy the game's virtual currency (gold) with real money. Hopefully the people that do this will at least break even with the monthly subscription in this business.
My first reaction to this post was that this girl has a serious problem. But then I remembered that when I used to be infatuated with the First Person Shooter (FPS) game Counter-Strike, (CS) I would envy the people (always males) bragging about receiving oral sex while playing the game. Of course I would take their claim with a grain of salt, as nobody knows your a dog on the internet. The idea is what enticed me.
I think that her criteria is specific and quite reasonable. In the gaming world, females are few and far between, let alone ones that play the more in-depth games to such a level that this one claims to play at. She probably won't have trouble sifting through responses and finding someone to fit the bill.
So if this girl were to find someone and they agree to the above terms, how could this all happen in a chair? It would have to be in a chair, right? She would need both hands for the mouse and keyboard, so I would assume that the guy would be in the chair, facing the computer. She would be straddling him with her back to him, also facing the computer. She could do the work by going up and down, or he could move his hips while she stays at a constant height. Also, he "must be able to finish on [her] twice within one hour." This seems difficult in my book. If I were a hardcore WoW player and this were me to try and fuck this girl on her terms, I'd probably disappoint. Sorry ladies, but I don't think I can handle; having sex in a chair with your back turned, paying attention to the game, being loud, giving suggestions and try to have an orgasm all the while you're trying to play and get off at the same time. All within an hour's time frame.
I do however, think that the oral sex is perfectly doable. I'm sure no guy willing to go down on a girl would have a problem doing it while she plays video games.
-Swift
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